Escaping 2.5K MMR as Support

I am queuing; Awaiting my free MMR.
I alt-tab and watch some good old top-quality reddit shitposts. I don't need my focus for this.
My game is ready. In my best Russian accent I shout: Support or feed! and proceed to pick CM/WD/ES/AA/Disruptor.
They thank me for supporting. Little do they know this is my ticket out of this place.
The game starts. Like always I buy the chicken, 2 observer wards, some branches, tangoes and 2 clarity potions. I am tempted to buy boots first. Meh. My job is to jockey these cripple horses to victory. MY horses.
My 7k mid storm spammer who's temporarily residing in 3k trench due to 'noob teammates' demands 2 tangoes. Well why not. Here you go. Who's a little baby? Yes, YOU are!
One ward to my offlaner, one ward at the bottom rune spot. Without constant vision they blindly overextend, they feed, they die and they blame me. I feel like a kindergarten teacher. Or perhaps like playing Lemmings; desperately trying to preven my little minions from blindly walk off a cliff.
I pull, I stack, I harass. In the two minutes I'm jungling I get lvl 2 or 3 and the enemy offlaner thinks I have disappeared completely.
The lane is pushed right under our tower and he has proceeded setting up tent right next to it, not quite daring to move in. I see him running back and forth, not quite sure what he should be doing now.
I rotate in, my carry is hesitative, curiously watching my every move. 'Is this another one of those idiots that's going to get me killed?' I see him thinking. It's okay I proceed to tell him. Don't be afraid: I'm here to help. Both heroes are frozen still. The enemy offlaner is the first to react by noticing he's way out of position. He proceeds to run home, but I gave him no such permission.
I stun, block and slow. He has nowhere to run. Luckily my carry decides to join in just in time to not get me killed. Oh and to get the last hit of course.
I buy boots+TP, upgrade the courier and repurchase wards to keep this rusty, creaking machine we call a team running.
I don't need no items. Items are for work-horses. As a Roman emperor I contently gaze over my reign. My addict carry has gone back to his pathetic attempts at last-hitting, remembering that time he once 1v5-ed the enemy team. If only he could get that feeling back. Just a little more farm..
At this point one of the other lanes makes a mistake causing the enemy bloodseeker to get a double kill. My safelane PL proceeds to miss an entire creep wave by typing "Noob stop feed or I jungle". Taking my job as a kindergarten teacher seriously I tell everyone to get along and play nice. Dota's awesome. Contantly trying to keep everyone happy, it feels like playing a combination of a MOBA, Lemmings, the Sims, Civilization and Rollercoaster Tycoon.
It even has its own special reward structure where if you do your job well your teammates won't start feeding your courier.
It's minute 10. The laning phase is disappearing but noone told my teammates. The enemy team starts to move around as a team. My team doesn't know what is happening and starts to get picked off. Despite having vision from my wards and me spamming "All enemy heroes missing!" they still end up dying. They spend their respawn time typing "WTF no miss? gg" and click-wheeling "We need wards!" I am tempted to ping out our wards on the minimaps but I know better.
The enemy team proceeds to push our mid tier 1. By pressuring the sidelanes I try to get the enemy team to fall back in fear of loosing 2 towers for the prize of 1. We cannot defend our tower with a huskar+undying on their team yet my storm attempts to do so anyway by zipping in and dying as a result of not having enough mana to zip back out again. I see pings appearing everywhere around me.
Yay
Two minutes later the enemy team attempts to push our tier 1 again. They group up as always, over commit and I press R. Instant win. Storm Spirit is able to clean up the entirity of their team by zipping around a bit. Teamfight won, 10/10 would do again. PL starts shit talking the enemy team. Storm starts to feel superior and proceeds to feed a couple of kills by overextending past tier 2s in the aftermath of the fight.
Oh sorry I guess I should've warded there too, my bad.
I ward, I gank, I jungle, stack in-between and I get my scepter+mobility item. I bait the enemy carries into over extending on my worthless ass. My team is too slow to respond for me to come out alive but luckily after I die we end up trading my life for their 2 cores.
By positioning well we continue to win every teamfight whenever my ulti is up. Slowly our core players are getting ahead to the point they can't realistically throw anymore. Surely..
We push the tier 3. We almost end up throwing the game anyway by diving their base without taking care of the tower+racks first. Luckily after my team dies the enemy team doesn't immediately press mid when they respawn. We push again and we win the game.
I end the game with 2/10/29, PL with 25/14/3.
Storm shouts "Comment me". PL shouts "EZ game".
The enemy team shouts "Report Shadow Fiend!"
I say nothing. Just a few more games.

Source : reddit

==============================================================

This is Hilarious.
Nice work here